Exopat Silicon Baking Sheet, I Loathe Thee

Don't be seduced by the cookies in the picture! Though they might be mystical cookies, as it appears that they are levitating.

There are few things that I despise, but French silicon would have to be one of them. Exopat baking sheet, blech! If I could remake the world, it would mostly be the same as the world we know, but a few things would be missing: war, greenhouse gases, moths (I'm tired of mending sweaters), and Exopat silicon baking sheets.

They're slimy no matter how carefully you clean them, impossible to scrub, impossible to dry, and completely unnecessary. What's wrong with just using butter on plain old metal baking sheets? I'd rather wash a nice metal sheet any day. I can't touch one of those Exopat things without recoiling in horror at its fleshy, oily texture. It's like adolescent skin.

And I'm utterly convinced it's giving us cancer. Cancer from cookies: what a bittersweet, backhanded way to go.

Are you reading this, Steven, il mio animale domestico? I love your cookies, but the cleaning crew wants to know if you must use that thing to make them. Can't you just put them directly on the lovely, austere Dow Metal baking sheet we bought last week?


Mlle Paradis said...

Wonderful post! I needed to know that! I've always that the silicone spatulas were gross and impossible to clean.

Anonymous said...

they ARE uncessesary for cookies, but for working with sugar, tuiles, and very delicate things, they are somewhat indespensible.

Anonymous said...

What an idiotic posting. Grow up and get real.
It's a silicone bake mat and this is what silicone is.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to try your homemade cookies.

-Zane of ontario honey

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