Patrons & Benefactresses, Feel Free to Come Forward

Not that this house is amazing, per se, but we could live in it. And it could be amazing:

Mostly I think I could make it work. I could make it cute but not cloying, and certainly pare it down into something charming and closer to what it wants to be. Of course, as always, a few issues -- it has no kitchen. Like, literally none. This is the hole where one used to be:

Also, the bathroom has no sink:

BUT it's in one of my favorite neighborhoods, it's less than two blocks from water, the windows are new and relatively efficient, and it has a new roof. Also a decent sized yard for an urban area (or at least compared to where we live right now):

And it has three bedrooms, painted many shades of awful, each with at least one angled wall (which I for one am all about):

I also like that trees fill the view from every window -- I'd rather look at leaves than almost anything else. And three bedroom is perfect: one for Steven and I to sleep in, and an office/guest room for each of us. Plus, raw basement storage and workspace, where I could start all kinds of messy projects and not clean up after myself:

What can Nick be thinking? you are doubtless asking yourselves. I am thinking that this house only costs 50,000 dollars.

Yes, 50 thousand. And I probably wouldn't want anything that was in the house to begin with. I would bet money that the kitchen was a hot mess, and what's left of the bathroom has to go. So really, that someone has gone to the trouble of stealing them is a huge plus. I'm grossed out by the idea of paying for other people's fugly renovations.

Decent floor and woodwork throughout (though clearly that newel post has suffered a bit over the years):

So really, all I need is 50,000 and for the house and another 50 to start doing everything else. Who wants to give it to me? Feel free to donate. I promise I'd give you a blog that would outdo all the reno blogs that I love out there -- I'd out 16 D16 -- throw a brick through The Brick House -- and hindsvik the Hindsvik! (Which sounds like and expression for stabbing someone with a shiv to me, though they say "Hindsvik is the name of an old church in Northern Iceland" ... not buying it).

Sigh. Oh, poverty, poverty. It would be such fun!


Daniel-Halifax said...

Oh my! The potential! I can just see the front garden lush and spewing over the retaining wall. AND you'd be neighbors with my sister, a plus!

Nick Heywood said...

Yes, exactly! My thoughts are along the same lines -- get it nearly overgrown with plantings that spill over the retaining wall asap. Also, considering painting the retaining wall with yogurt or buttermilk, as I've read this encourages the grown of moss. I know you're supposed to stay away from this, but with a 50,000 dollar house, do I have to worry about keeping vines off the house? I'd really like to cover the whole thing with ivy. And an apple tree in the backyard.

Nick Heywood said...

And that would be so fun, to know your sister! Is she literally next door?

Daniel-Halifax said...

She lives right on the patuxet river in that little white house with all the geese in the yard. She loves the location HATES the geese and their deposits.

Daniel-Halifax said...

And yogurt does work! You can also throw moss and buttermilk in a blender then "paint" it on the concrete. That's what i did...

mairead said...

2 + 2010 = possibility
you can do it!

Anonymous said...

try kickstarter.com. My brother raised 10 grand for his boy band in a month. All you need is a tastefully pleading video documentary. I waould pay $5 to see you decorate a whole house.

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh I hope you can swing it - could you contact the owners directly and see if they could finance you and your "rent" go towards paying it if off for like ever? (ie pay $80,000) but as long term rent?

Anonymous said...

how can you have a home without a kitchen? That's nuts.

-Zane of ontario honey

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